The eJustice Network

Once upon a time I wanted to live on Easy Street, but a funny thing happened along the way. Whenever I had the chance to go there, I didn’t do it. Something inside stopped me.

Sure, I felt the allure of all the things it offered. Big house. Fat bank account. The best that money could buy.

It was the in-place where all the cool people hung out and so many others aspired to be. Even me, I guess. At least for a time.

But when my turn came (and it came over and over again), I just couldn’t get myself to pay the price.

Balking at the Price of Success

That price required me to do things that went against my grain, like using up valuable time, attention, and effort needed by those who loved and depended upon me. Or forcing me to choose between taking on a client who could pay our normal fees or serving those of lesser means who looked to me to move them through their struggles. And that's not to mention dealing with a system and people where principles and values rarely seemed to be in the fore.

There’s no one thing I can point to. Rather, it was the cumulative impact of it all while trying to survive and prosper in a profession where expediency was king. Build the bottom line. Get the best deal. Make it all go away.

So what if it sometimes meant having to act like a jerk? Or treating those who stood in the way as obstacles to be overcome, rather than people with legitimate beliefs and perspectives that deserved respect as much as those I was hired to work for? Or making choices that would bring a bigger payday for all, even if it meant not doing the right thing?

Yet, I always had trouble doing that. In fact, one business friend gave me the kiss of death when he said I was the nicest lawyer he'd ever met.

And though I was never afraid to go to war for my clients, I just couldn't get myself to stoop as low as some of them wanted me to. Or that the profession seemed to expect, and sometimes even require.

Why Not Give In?

It’s the nature of law and business to put us in positions where we’re tempted by these assaults upon our moral fabric. And though the ways might differ, even the best of us sometimes succumb.

I’m not talking about blatant wrongdoing or ill-gotten financial gain. Most of us have a pretty good sense of where that line is, and try to stay on the side that brings us life’s rewards in the right way.

What I’m referring to are the insidious little things that eat us away inside, bit by bit, until we’re left a hollow shell. Or that cause us to give in to egos that demand we push things a little farther or try to get a little more, just because we can or because we delude ourselves that it’s best.

When you’re in the business of trying to get results notwithstanding the obstacles life puts in the way, sometimes it’s easy to look for shortcuts. Interpreting facts or law to serve our cause, even when we know it’s a stretch. Arguing a point or writing a contract to shade things our way and get a leg up on the competition. Or taking on a client or allowing them to do something we don’t believe in.

These may not seem like much to you. And individually they weren’t to me, either. But over the course of 30 years, the inner conflict they caused took their toll.

Go along to get along. Or don't and suffer the consequences.

Part of me wanted to go there, and for a long while I did, all in the name of representing my clients.

Yet the more I could see the value in all sides, the harder it became for me to carry out my sworn duty to advance one to the detriment of all the others.

Still, I continued to practice.

But it got to a point I couldn't any more. At least, not in the old way. The price was too high. Even just considering it hurt.

Though I didn't know it, the largest hurdle of all was yet to come.

Whose Choice Is It, Anyway?

In the practice of law we're often called to persuade others to our way of seeing things. That's the nature of the beast, and I did my job. Sometimes too well.

Doing so often took me to a place where I really wasn't comfortable.

I'm talking about something most people don’t even see as doing anything wrong. And that’s how we deal with the question of choice.

As you know, we lawyers are sworn to zealously serve the interests of our clients. We’re hired to fight for them. But we’re not hired to think much less decide for them. Ultimately the power to choose rests with our client, whether that means the terms or tone of a contract, how they go about their relationships, or the positions taken in disputes and whether and how to end them.

Our job is to lay things out so our clients can make choices. And that’s where we too often go astray.

Lawyers have egos (no surprise there, eh?). Sometimes those egos get in the way, causing us to fight a little longer or resist giving in on things of little consequence.

Worse, those egos cause us to evaluate things in terms of what we think is best. Though we may leave it up to our clients to make the final choice, most of the time we have a very strong influence over how that choice is made.

Too often we present and discuss the issues in a way that manipulates the outcome. Emphasizing certain facts or issues over others is bad enough. But in the course of our efforts we learn the fears and motivations our clients bring with them, and lawyers are often not shy in playing upon them to sway the decision in the way we think is best.

We do it all in the name of serving the interests of our clients, not to mention the righteousness of our belief that we’re doing what’s best for them.

I think that this very manipulation of circumstance is where I’ve had my greatest regrets over the years, because at my core is a belief that every person has the right to go their own way in life, and to make the choices needed to get there free of interference (or influence) by another. Especially by me.

Don’t get me wrong. I was good at it. Very good. And probably still would be if that’s the way I wanted to live.

It was a skill that most certainly would have led to Easy Street, even while resisting all the other myriad efforts to erode my integrity and sell myself out.

Still, there are moments I'd like to take back.

In fact, I’m haunted by those times I used my insight or position to influence outcomes. Many times I've second-guessed myself, wondering whether I did the right thing.

Doing the Right Thing?

The right thing. We've heard that term a lot of over the years, but rarely is there an absolute answer that fits all situations.

At this stage in my life I think the most important thing is to be able to live with myself. That’s what I teach my kids, and emphasize to everyone I work with.

Do the right thing and you won’t have problems sleeping at night. Maybe the bank account won’t look as good, or you’ll have to take the long way to get where you want to go, but you’ll enjoy the journey so much more.

So what’s the right thing? It’s up to each of us to decide that for ourselves. And figure out how to do it while dealing with those people and situations that tempt us to go another way.

The point here is not to bash those who don’t have such principles. Or who choose to erode the ones they have.

Rather, it’s to encourage the many who want to stand on the beliefs they hold most dear, and say no to those things that would erode those beliefs, and their integrity in the process.

Trust me. Life will still turn out okay. Maybe even a whole lot better.

For me, I guess it’s just the way I am. Besides, if I give in now, I probably wouldn’t end up on Easy Street. More likely it would be in some gutter along the way.